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Hello! And a Huge Happy New Year (to all of you working to the Gregorian calendar).
Oh-oh! It's that time of year again. When we load up with fruit and veg, rush down to our local gym, and sign up for every job-site on the planet.
This months article is for anyone out there worried that they've already missed the "New Year - New You" boat....
ARTICLE: New Year - Same Old You?
(The real truth behind those "broken resolution" statistics. Or, how to be one of the fabled "1 in 10".)
You may have been disheartened recently by the statistic that almost 90% of New Year’s Resolutions will have been
broken by the time you’re reading this.
If you’ve been put off even thinking about New Year’s Resolutions by similar tales of doom and gloom, don’t despair.
The truth is that this statistic is a lot of rot!!
That’s because it’s based on some faulty assumptions on what actually constitutes a resolution.
Actually, this kind of statistic, trotted out every year, makes me quite cross. All it does is attack your belief that it’s possible to ever achieve anything.
This article aims to explode the myth of endless broken resolutions and shows you how you can buck the trend…
Premature Evaluation
The most obvious problem with this statistic is that it’s way premature.
How can anyone judge resolutions for 2008 when we’ve still 97% of 2008 to go?
The fact of the matter is, many resolutions involve weeks, or even months before they come to fulfilment. And it’s not unusual to take one step back for every two steps forward.
So if you’ve not really got going yet, with the things you want for this year, there’s still plenty of time. You’ve (almost) a whole 12 months to play with.
HOWEVER... This is not an excuse to do nothing. In 6 months time, you may wish that you'd started today.
You need to find a way to connect that desirable outcome in June with a small single step today.
That's what planning is about.
When Is A Resolution Not a Resolution?
I said that this statistic is based on a false assumption about New Year Resolutions. Here it is:
False: Every wish, idle statement and daydream constitutes a resolution.
They do not.
Resolutions are about commitment and determination. If you are resolved, then you’ve made a decision. You are committed to a course of action. You have “firmness of purpose”.
Consider Mary and Kate - returning to work this January:
Mary: “Back to the same old grind - maybe I should make a New Year Resolution to look for a new job.”
Mary may call this a New Year Resolution but it doesn’t seem to have much “firmness of purpose” about it. It's vague and wishy-washy.
Kate: “Back to the same old grind - but I am determined to have a new job by spring.”
In contrast, Kate is much more committed, and, crucially, she has identified a timescale.
Who is more likely to succeed, do you think – Mary or Kate?
I hope you’ve said “Kate”! Success is much more likely when you feel determined and have a timescale.
Which one sounds most like you? Hhmmmmm......
The problem of course, is that the vast majority of folk approach life more like Mary than like Kate. And that means New Year “Wish-lists”, rather than actual New Year Resolutions.
Hence the statistic.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wishing – sometimes it’s good to try things on for size. But it’s like the difference between watching a holiday programme, and actually going on holiday.
So. Do you want to get on the beach this year?
Read on for some top tips ...
Feel free to share this e-zine with friends & colleagues...who do you know that would benefit from reading this?
Get regular Time to Think...Here are some key pointers to help you achieve the things you want in the next 50 weeks...
- Dance Your Way to Success.
Don’t worry, I’m not talking about lycra and sequins. Remember the two steps forward, one step back? It may sound odd. But if you expect (and plan for) the one step back, as well as the two steps forward, you won’t be so put off when it happens. (Or tempted to give up.)
You may be imagining it as a straight run from starting line to finish. However, real life's not like that. Most success is achieved by "dancing" (quick, slow, quick, quick, slow) round the obstacles and sticking places.
Doesn’t that sound like much more fun? (Plus, you get to pick your own music!)
- Planning.
You know: Specific goals and milestones (By the end of the week I will have… ; By the end of February I will have….; … etc).
With these in place it becomes possible to say “I’m on track.”
Or “I’m not on track.” (Which begs the question: “How do I get back on track?”)
Top Tip: Don't just make a list. Break tasks down into small steps. Then schedule them - in your diary, and on the calendar.
And don’t forget rewards and downtime.
- Commit.
Don't be wishy-washy. Making a commitment is at the heart of a resolution.
Not: "maybe" or "perhaps I should".
But "I will", and "I choose to"
Some people are afraid to commit to one thing because they fear that they'll be missing out on the others. But everything in life is connected.
Commit to improve one area, and your whole life will improve. Honest.
- Thinking differently.
Actually, part of the difficulty with the whole area is this idea of breaking resolutions. Which implies damage. Something that was whole is now in pieces.
Twaddle.
Let’s try a new way of thinking about this.
What if you thought in terms of fulfilling your resolutions?
Can you feel how much more power that gives you?
I think it makes no sense to talk about "breaking" resolutions.
You're either fulfilling your resolutions, or you're not.
...So, ... which is it?
My very warmest wishes to you and yours.
Helen
By the way - for anyone who's missed out on my free guide to New Year Resolutions, get it here...
If this article has spoken to you, and you'd like some support in creating the life you're longing for, get in touch and let's talk about how you can do that...
About the Author: Helen Ross-Hamilton is a holistic coach specialising in helping professional women who want to stop striving and start thriving. Find out more and get free on-line resources at www.theresultsagency.co.uk
Enjoy this article? This article may be reprinted so long as it is intact, reproduced in it's entirety, including the "About the Author" information, and, all links are working. And send me a courtesy note.
Top, top, TOP tip to lift your spirits in dreary January - in fact I recommend you do this today…
Buy yourself a bunch of flowers. Stick them in a couple of nice vases (or jam jars if you haven’t a vase) and put them:
Keep them fresh and they’ll help you smile inside every time you see them.
(But remember there’s nothing sadder than a faded bunch of flowers – replace them as soon as they’ve gone over.)
Food for thought…
Someone once said to me that she never bought cut flowers because they didn’t last for more than a few days or so. My response? “Well, biscuits don’t last more than 5 minutes and you buy those….”
Relax and Revive
In the meantime, I'd love to hear your comments and feedback
on any of the topics raised in this issue - please do get in touch.
warm wishes
Helen