Hello!

...and Welcome to this issue of Time to Think - the bi-monthly e-zine for professional women - dedicated to helping you thrive.

In this issue... What does it mean to be personally powerful? How can you empower yourself? Read my in-depth article and find out!

Plus, I've got some suggestions on how to turn these cold dark winter evenings to your advantage.

Speaking of which - started thinking about your New Year Resolutions?

If you read my 7 Steps to Success in the last issue, you'll know that the resolution phase is the basis on which success depends. But getting that basis right is where most people go wrong! And is a MAJOR factor determining whether you'll be celebrating success in 2007, or facing 2008 still struggling with the same old issues.

Help is at hand!

Right now, I'm offering exclusive, limited-edtion consultations, concentrating on getting that basis right: "Resolve to Succeed in 2007".

How much would it help your chances of success to:

1. get focused on what's really important
2. learn the 3 key secrets for successful personal goal setting and how to apply them to your life
3. design red-hot resolutions you'll want to keep
4. fire up your motivation and get top tips on keeping it that way
5. get on the right track to making 2007 your best year yet!

At only £97 for these intensive 2-hour specialist sessions, they'll be really popular. And they're only available in December and January, so make sure you book yours as soon as possible.

And, take advantage of several added-value bonuses:

1. 14 days email coaching support to get you off to a great start
2. 12 weekly motivational e-reminders to keep you on track
3. a voucher for 10% off other Results Agency services in 2007 - for when you need an extra boost

And remember, these sessions also make great Christmas presents!

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More Power to You!

Personal power is an energy – a creative fire that lives in each of us. And it is up to you how you use it…

Playing with Fire?

Power is an emotive subject. Like fire, it can be put to positive, creative uses, or violent, destructive ones. Power can mean danger. Women, particularly, may feel ambivalent, even fearful about their own power.

And no wonder. The belief that power is only ever coercive, exploitative and authoritarian is played out every day in the workplace, and every night on the 10 o’clock news.

It offers a hopeless choice between “power-over” and powerlessness[1]. It identifies power as a torch you pass round – if I have it, you don’t. If you're in charge – then I'm not. (And by the way, watch out you don't burn your fingers.)

Here are some of the ways you may be caught in the power-over/powerlessness dilemma:

• withholding information about personal needs, in case others “feel obliged” to fulfil them
• limiting your creative input at work, for fear of seeming “pushy”
• aiming lower than you really want to in case you look “big-headed”
• pretending you're less organised, or less able, than you really are, in order not to "make the other person feel bad"
• avoiding saying 'No' in case you hurt someone's feelings
• censoring your “air time” in order to make sure everyone gets a turn

Do any of these seem familiar? They should - they’re happening in homes and offices all over the world right now. Marianne Williamson got it right when she wrote[2]:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us”

The alternative?

To move away from this idea of power as a scarce resource. Away from the power-over/powerlessness dilemma. Away from the idea that behaving powerfully is like playing with matches.

Lit From Within

“Personal power” is exactly what it says it is: power within a person. Each person. Every person.

Therefore it is not scarce. It is abundant.

Personal power is the alternative that frees you from the power-over/powerlessness dilemma. Because it puts YOU in charge. Of you.

And me in charge of me.

And him in charge of him… and so on.

Famously 'empowered' people: Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Mary Wollstonecraft, Rosa Parkes, Helen Keller, the Suffragettes...

They had three things in common:

1. they looked within themselves for direction
2. they exercised their own capacity to act
3. instead of blaming, they generated positive, creative energy towards improving things

(You'll notice I haven't mentioned leadership – that's because leadership is an effect of personal power, not a source. )

You are free to do any of these things whenever you choose. It may take work. It may take practice. But there is no need to wait for a torch to be passed to you. Or to worry about getting burnt.

You are the flame. You are already lit from within.

So - what does this mean for you personally? What can you do to develop your personal power?

Let's take these three things in turn:

Looking within yourself for direction:

Who are you and what do you want? What are your values?

Knowing yourself is the first thing.

Add to this the skill and practice of trusting your own judgement. If you've been used to taking what other people think as your main reference point, this can be scary at first. But in fact leads to less general anxiety about life. And to a stronger and more grounded sense of self.

It's not about being closed to new ideas and opinions. In fact, people with a strong sense of who they are tend to be more open to new ideas and more willing to accomodate opinions different from their own.

It's about saying "I'm responsible for me"

Exercising your capacity to act:

Personal power is the ability to take action – to change your behaviour, to change your thinking, to change your attitude. Action based on what's true for you.

You're saying "This is what I'm prepared to do about it". And then doing it.

And it often involves naming what you need, and standing up for what you believe in. Which starts with believing in yourself.

Generating positive creative energy:

Many of the people we think of as role models in this area have overcome adversity in order to shine. What marks them out is the ability, and the willingness, to use experience as a springboard to growth and creativity. This means stepping out of the "poor me" position. And it involves keeping going where others might give up.

So long as you focus on the negative, you'll struggle to generate positive energy. So think positive and focus on the richness in your life. Replace blaming and complaining with learning and celebrating.

So, to summarise: Personal Power is a resourceful inner energy available to everyone. Developing it requires work in the following areas:

• self-awareness
• self-responsibility
• self-esteem
• following words with action - following through
• tenacity
• moving beyond 'victim', even beyond 'survivor' into thriving

A mid-winter blessing:

May you have light to guide your steps and fire to warm your hearth. May your inner flame burn strong and bright. And may your light be an inspiration for others.

[1]For much more on this paradigm, and it's alternatives, see Peggy Natiello's book "The Person-Centred Approach: A Passionate Presence"
[2]This passage is from “A Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson. It is NOT by Nelson Mandela, although it is often MISattributed to him. Please see the ANC website for the text of his inaugural speech.

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Relax and Revive

Need to chill out, unwind or re-energise? You've come to the right place...

Here's a simple idea to relieve stress, re-balance your energies and help you feel grounded:

Get into the garden or the park and take a gentle stroll round. Concentrate on the colours around you. After a while, focus on one small thing, like the way the sun catches a particular leaf. Or how the wind moves the plants. Put all of your attention into the present moment. Repeat to yourself: I am here, and it is now.

Then pick up a leaf or a twig. Close your eyes and turn it over on your hands. Focus all of your attention on the textures.

Should any judgemental thoughts/feelings come up (e.g. this is silly), just notice them and let them go.

Stay present.

Spend as long as you wish on these two exercises. Afterwards, say a few words of thanks for this sensory experience.

If it's really wet, you can do the same from inside, watching the rain make puddles, or hammer against the window. Again, keep all of your attention on the present moment.

Open the window and put your hand out. Shut your eyes and concentrate on the feeling of the life-giving rain on your skin.

Remember the mantra "I am here and it is now."

Remember to give thanks.

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Snuggle up to Winter

Like Spring, Autumn is definitely about change. But, unlike Spring, when our energy is thrusting outwards, the spiral into winter turns us inward.

Winter's power lies in its contrasts - between the dark nights and the bright lights, between the urge to hibernate and the urge to party! So here are some suggestions for how you can take advantage of the dark nights, and the energy of the season:

• Lay some plans for 2007: Think about what you’ve achieved this year and decide how you’re going to build on that. Remember too what you resolved to achieve this year but haven't. Invest some quality time designing your New Year Resolutions.
• Snuggle up in bed with a hot drink and your journal and write a list of all the things you love about your life. Plan how you can maximise them.
• Start a dream diary.
• Have a "Success Party" - get together with friends or workmates and take turns to declare your resolutions for 2007 and to ask for support from each other. Add some pampering treatments to maximise your sense of well-being.
• Set your ‘go to sleep’ time to ½ hour earlier – after a while you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel in the morning. (And it’ll be much easier to deal with the clocks going forward again.)

Winter is the time for reflection, for planning, and for nurturing your deep life. It’s a time for finding hope for the future. For remembering those you love. And for lighting candles.

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