Top Tips for Developing Self-esteem and Building Confidence

As I've said elsewhere, building your self-esteem and confidence involves both self-development (inner work), and positive outer action.

Here are some top tips:

A Confidence Mantra

Repeat this several times a day for at least 2 weeks:

Close your eyes and say the following to yourself:

"I am unique. No-one else can do the things I do in the way I do them. My life force, my experience, talents and skills mean I have a unique place in the universe, a [your name] shaped space that only I can fill. It is up to me how I choose to fill it."

How was that?

Are you feeling a tiny bit more confident, or did you just feel silly? (Or both?)

How you felt and what you said to yourself before and after that little exercise is useful information about the ways you support yourself and/or put yourself down.

The mistake most people make when working with mantras, is that they assume that just repeating the mantra is enough.

In fact, the real power of mantras, or positive affirmations, is in the way in which they bring your resistance to the idea contained in the mantra to the surface.

So, when you work with this mantra (or better still one of your own) make sure to notice the thoughts, physical sensations and feelings that come up.

These give you important clues as to where you are resisting the message contained in the mantra.

Positive Outer Action

Some suggestions:

• Ask friends, family and colleagues to write down the things they like about you and what they think your talents are - emphasise that you want positive feedback only. NB make sure you get it in writing that way you can't forget what they've said
• Get in the habit of checking your posture and making sure you're standing (or sitting) tall, and relaxing your shoulders.
• Develop an alternative CV - based not on your work achievements, but on the other things you're good at - e.g. I have a black belt in present wrapping; I'm the fastest bathroom cleaner in the west; I know the capitals of every European country; I can tango, etc
• Take regular (every few days) time out to pamper yourself (e.g. foot massage, do your nails, bubble bath, candlelit meal (even if it's just beans on toast), buy yourself a bunch of flowers, etc)
• Go through your wardrobe and throw out any clothes that don't make you feel good about yourself
• Clear that clutter!
• Take up a hobby - one where it doesn't matter whether you're any good at it - just something you can enjoy
• Volunteer some time to help out at a local charity, or community project

For more help in working with mantras, positive affirmations, and for help with confidence and self-esteem, you may like to book a free "Gateway to Your Best Life" consultation...

Or, read more about how Whole Life Coaching can work for you...